Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Is My Brain Too GADalicious for You?

In this day and age of medical insurance, where any sort of on-going therapy requires that you be given a diagnosis, it's becoming increasingly difficult to avoid getting slapped with a label. It's even more difficult to avoid doctors and therapists who rock the disapproving brow and a lightening quick prescription pad.

Let me say I am not against "mood meds," aka psychotropics, SSRIs, and their ilk as a absolute statement. What bothers me is that there is vast evidence that too many doctors and such prescribe these as a quick fix -- or, in my most recent case, because it works for them.

The MoonMan and I attended some "couple therapy" sessions this summer, more out a preventative measure than anything. They were good and overall, we enjoyed them -- except for the label slapping and pill pushing.

As a diagnosis was needed in order to collect insurance, I got slapped with GAD: General Anxiety Disorder. (I was told my therapist considered adding an eating disorder Axis II on there, but as September marked 11 years free from bulimia, she couldn't get me on this one.) When informed of my diagnosis, I just nodded -- more out of fear that any protesting could get me slapped with a trailing "with paranoia" or something. But admittedly, I didn't and don't like that diagnosis business. Also admittedly, this GADbusiness was in part likely my own damn stupid fault for making the following statement: "I am in a constant state of anxiety." That statement was not true, but I have a tendency to blurt exaggerations in an effort to not hide anything.

Smooth move, ExLax.

Here's the criteria for GAD, according to the ol' DSM-IV:

A. At least 6 months of "excessive anxiety and worry" about a variety of events and situations. Generally, "excessive" can be interpreted as more than would be expected for a particular situation or event. Most people become anxious over certain things, but the intensity of the anxiety typically corresponds to the situation.

The problem with this, is that it's so damn subjective. What constitutes "excessive?" The second sentence, which makes a stab at defining "excessive" is equally problematic as how does one define what would be expected in a particular situation or event?

To me, "excessive" connotes this GADdiness would prevent one from accomplishing goals and generally living life the way one wishes. The only thing my alleged GAD ever prevented me from doing was driving on some of the crazier interstates around here -- and I've always hated interstates, even before the mythical GADbastard knocked on my door. (Well, okay, and riding, to a degree -- but only as feeling anxious around horses was so foreign and so blasphemous that I couldn't bear it -- not because I was too anxious to get in the saddle.)

But okay: I'm GADed on paper and faxed to my insurance company.
Whatever.

After it was determined I was a big, greasy GADface, next came the push for meds.
Big surprise there.

For about five sessions, the therapist pushed I get on something. She even disclosed that she herself took Lexapro to quell her anxiety. Eventually, I had to say, "Look: it's not like I'm sleeping with a knife under my pillow, for God's sake. Additionally, any anxiety I have is not really effecting the quality of my life. I have made huge strides in putting this anxiety crap behind me over the past five years. I prefer the long term, cognitive approach as opposed to meds. I am asking you, again, to respect this." (I should have added, "I mean -- EGADs!" but I'm not sure she would have got the joke.)

That worked.
She agreed.

Since experiencing what I like to call a "functional breakdown" after three very intense months of working a very intense job and attending a very intense class at the same time in late 2004, (there's another subjective and loaded word, "breakdown") it's true I've been left with a heightened sense of anxiety I didn't have previously. It's also true there were times these feelings became so torturous I did consider meds.

Five years later, I've learned so much about "anxiety" and myself, medless.

This summer, things ramped way up for me at work after I took on a number of new responsibilities. In the past, when things ramped way up, I did okay for 2-3 months, then got hit with the creepier, scarier aspects prolonged stress and anxiety can deliver: a sort of numb yet quietly panicked state. In the past when I got to this, I ran. Quit the job, took two weeks off, something like that.

Here's something, though: I had to learn what these "creepier" feeling were, however, in order to take the "scary" aspect away. Would meds have tough me that?

This summer I didn't run. Sitting at a meeting in July, I felt like my brain was going to fly out of my head. I felt like I literally could not take on one more task at work. It was pretty scary and I surely wanted to run. I wanted to take an emergency vacation, decline all recently-added responsibility and curl up in scared little heap.

When the meeting was over, a colleague instantly approached me for help -- more work! My brain still felt like it was on fire. I wanted to cry. Instead I said, "Let me just have a cigarette and we'll go over it." I did and we did and while I still felt shaky, I felt better.

Much, much, MUCH better than I would have felt had I listened to the Kim from 2004 and "gone home sick" for the rest day, only to lie around on the couch and obsess about how I felt.

The next day, I went to work, still somewhat shaky.
And the next.
Less than a week later, the shakiness was completely gone: so gone that I no longer fear that these types of feeling will ever return.

The key was walking through the motherfucking fire -- as opposed to running.

It's true, when anxiety gets so bad, sometimes it seems like it is impossible to zombie thru one's day: your brain feels so fuzzy and you spend so much energy pretending you're "normal" that it can be tough.

Still, my advice, every time: don't run. Walk through the motherfucking fire.

Right: 2004 - 2009 is five years, after all and would meds have pushed me to the walking-thru-fire point quicker? Who knows? The point is, besides having escaped any nasty side effects from drugs, I got here -- and with the big, old, confidence boosting side effect that I did it MYSELF, the hard way.

Go, ME!

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Cryptic Vent

Fuck the well-written blog post at the moment.
Fuck those who say blogging is for self-centered prigs who want the world to know what they ate for breakfast.
The fact is, if I don't blog, I don't write.

For over two years now, my writing here as been stymied with no solution, though it seems I've tried them all.
Most recently, I change my blog address -- and get NINE hits per day.
Which, you know, takes the lead right of my reader-loving pencil.

I don't know what to do.
Again, so sorry for the cryptic post.
Unfortunately, I've no solution at the moment ...

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Header

That is one BIG, fucking Zuzu.
I like it.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Moving ...

Hi all: sorry for the inactivity. Unfortunately, the inactivity will be actively active for a while as I'll be moving to a new web address soon and making a number of other annoying but necessary changes. As I will not post the link here, if you would like the address for my new site, please leave your email address in comments or contact me at kakamakmail@hotmail.com (I usually only remember to check that email a few times per week, so please don't panic if I don't respond right away.)

Thanks for your continued patience y gracious ...

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Sex Toy Party

So I went to a "Girl's Night/Sex Toy Party" two weekends back -- the picture a few posts down is from there, of course (note what can be seen on the table to my right.)

These days, I like to keep this blog pretty much PG-13, as I've got all kinds of folks reading.
I gotta blog about this party a little, tho.
Because I must say: when you consider that Sigmund "No Friend of Females" Freud advocated female genital mutilation right here in the "civilized" USA for women who were incapable having "adult"/vaginal orgasms but who instead need "immature"/clitoral stimulation, and therefore, why not lop off the clitoris to help her out? Well, girls, I gotta say a little sex toy party, complete with education about what goes where and who does what, is a vast improvement -- and even, dare I say, feminist?

(Even Republicans are doing it.)

Not everyone likes 'em, these sex toy parties.
And, by all means, to each her own.
But when Beth writes "I detest watching you debating the merits of vibrating bullets and edible body chocolate, because that means I'm forced to imagine your boyfriend using these things on you" well, that makes me wonder. It brings to mind the ol' homophobe comment, the one that always goes something like "I don't want to be forced to think about what those people to do each other in the bedroom!"

Makes me wanna say, "What's your problem, Lady, that you have such trouble keeping your eyes on your own paper?"

What surprised the heck out of me at this party, was the number of women who zestfully claimed to love receiving The Big A.
(Anal. Yikes, I said it!)

So here's me, sitting with a bunch of jello-shot chugging women, myself sucking on a bottle of wine like the classy gal that am ("Do you want a glass and some ice for that, Kim?" "No thanks, I'm good!" Glug glug glug!) and all around me, laughter and happy questions. My body is here in the room, but my head suddenly goes back to all those feminist blog arguments about how there is no way in HELL anal sex is feminist and NO woman likes it and if she says she does, she's a liar or SHE'S BEEN BRAINWASHED BY THE PATRIARCHY ALREADY!

Still and all, one woman across the room from me is nearly swooning at the mention of anal. In fact, when I ask her name, she replies "Just call me Anal!"

I'm sitting here, wondering what "Anal" would say if someone told her that her sexual preferences made her a "tool of the patriarchy." "Anal" doesn't strike me as the kind of woman who would take this insult lightly.

Because that "tool of the patriarchy" business?
It strikes me as one of the most insulting, decidedly non-feminist, even downright misogynistic things you could call a woman. Which is why, even though I like Twisty (she's clever and she has HORSES, fer fuck's sake!) this song pisses me off.

In closing, and before certain members of the Radical Feminist Blogging Brigade start raking me over their coals of ridicule, let me state I don't think throwing a sex toy party ranks up there with The Greatest Feminist Achievements of all time.

I do think, however, they beat the shit outta Freud's clitordectomies.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

BB

Posting from mah new Blackberry ...crazy!

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Uh ...

Sorry folks -- been exceptionally busy of late.
Until I get a real post up here, I leave you with the following:
That would be me up there in the black blazer.

As for the rest of the high jinx happening here, let me assure you, I was doing research!
You'll see ...